August 16, 2016
“I want to be more active,” Joe said. “To come home from work and do something.”
With two beautiful beaches fifteen minutes away, the Cape Fear River just around the corner, a gorgeous pine-lined park within walking distance and another just down the street, well, an active, outside, soak-up-nature kinda life is just what we want. It’s all out there, waiting for us. A mysterious, magical new life. We’re excited and ready…
And, yet, not ready. Not all the time.
We all have big ideas of what this new life should look like, but I’m having a hard tome looking past the towering boxes. It's a mystery how we'll ever get there, to that easy place. I want my house in order!
It’s funny… I know it’s all just stuff, just boxes, just whatever, and I’ve never thought of myself as particular when it comes to my house. Most of the essentials have been put away. But, still, as I walk through the house, my stress level rises with each unpacked box or thing that doesn’t have a home yet. The stuff is making me stressed!
And even though we got rid of a lot of junk before we moved, we still moved with too much. Too many books, too many clothes, too many odds and ends like candles. Why do I need so many candles?
Abby and I have worked on the house for hours and haven’t made a dent! It’s overwhelming and discouraging. The more we unpack, the messier things get. I know it’ll get done. I just want it done now.
And I miss Ethan!
Before we moved in, I kept thinking that once we we were here, everything would be golden. But, the stress of all this continues. It shouldn't, but it's a mystery because it still does. I feel like we’re soooo used to being stressed out now that it’ll take us a while to let go of it all, even though the really hard stuff is over. It’s not the boxes - not really. It’s the fact that this place doesn’t feel like home yet. It certainly doesn’t feel like home with Ethan gone. And I can’t imagine when it will feel like home.
And yet, what is HOME? Home isn’t walls and floors, knick knacks and couches. Home isn't a mysterious ideal that I'm looking for, either.
Home is Joe. Home is Ethan and Abby. Home is wherever they are.
Our lives might be towered in disarray and stress - a fact of moving that will continue indefinitely - but there’s a renewed appreciation for our togetherness and what we want out of life.
“Regarding life together and getting along with each other, you don’t need me to tell you what to do. You’re God-taught in these matters. Just love one another! You’re already good at it.”
1 Thessalonians 4:9 The Message