June 22, 2016
With all that’s going on in our lives, Joe and I have dispensed with some of the niceties.
We didn’t do anything for Mother’s Day (he was traveling) and likewise didn’t do anything for Father’s Day (to save money and effort). Our 19th Wedding anniversary slipped on by with nothing more than a back-n-forth “Happy Anniversary.” Joe’s birthday is the 27th and he’s stated very clearly that all he wants is an offer on the house (as if we can control that!). So, we’ve agreed, once again, not to worry about these once-a-year recognitions.
Letting go of things is good. But, I’m not sure this was such a bright idea.
While celebrations are more of a life-bonus than a life-necessity, there is a mysterious need for them. It's kinda like skipping your senior prom - you'll wonder if you missed something good by not joining in all the fun (however lame).
For us, these celebrations would've added more to already full and overflowing plates, but maybe it could've given us something that would've made it worth it.
The stress of everything has pushed Joe and I to our limits, but strangely, it hasn’t pushed us together. While the family as a whole is much closer than we were before, once we made the decision, it’s like Joe and I drifted apart. Not worrying about honoring each other and our marriage was kinda indicative of our relationship then. We just had too much to deal with, the least of which was each other.
It was okay. We love each other. We didn’t need gifts or celebrations to show it. But, in hindsight, I’m sure that a little effort would’ve gone a long way. Around then, and a few times over the course of the months ahead, Joe would sometimes say, “I miss you.” At first, the remark struck me funny. How could he miss me when he sees me every day?
But, I get it.
We were buried under the chaos of our lives. We weren’t us. We were zombie-like versions of us, moving but not living. We should’ve savored our togetherness rather than let it get buried under burdens. He missed the real us. The together us. The laughing, loving us.
So, did I.
We keep saying, once this or that is over, things’ll get better. Once we sell the house… once we buy a house… once we move… Once this is over, we can celebrate. Well, that’s all true. I hope. But, honestly, we should’ve been celebrating all along. If we couldn’t celebrate our situation, we could’ve at least celebrated each other.
“What God has joined together, let not man (or moving) separate.”